BITTERSWEET GOODBYE!!

 Have you ever had an experience that you need to move forward even how hard it would be?

Or do you have ever had an experience that you are leaving with a heavy heart?

Or leaving with a Happy, or bittersweet goodbye?

 

It has been months since I decided to leave in one of my comfort zones. Months before, I never crossed my mind that I will turn them down. It was a long process; it was indeed a hard discernment after all.

Why it is a hard discernment?

I dreamt of being with them for almost a decade. The gift has been granted when I had a chance to work with them. I am so excited because of the new learning that will unfold. At the beginning of the journey, there were a lot of adjustments happened. I almost want to give up after a month. I had a culture shock with the environment. But a friend of mine reminded me of the meaning behind the word Hope. I was HOPEful back then, and the journey and looking for the purpose become the start of everything. I started to enjoy the company but still, there were times of comparing the culture to other workplaces.

Months and years passed by, and the learning become so exciting. I learned a lot from my mentors. Some colleagues patiently guided and taught me everything that they know. I get used to them and treat them like a family. After 2 years, the pandemic kicks in. The feeling of becoming a family immensely intensified. We stayed in accommodation for almost 3 months and continued with others for almost 2 years. Being with them, and knowing them more were the best memories that I had with them. Toxic duties and unbearable PPE lessened because of the moment that you are with them. In short, the best support system, I had!

Times flies and going back to normal life happened. We were going back to our normal lives. Living and being with our original friends. I just missed the time that we had together. Maybe I was hooked up with that moment and forget that we have an original circle of friends in the first place.

At some point, I had a feeling of being betrayed. This feeling dwells in me. But I am thankful it happened. I divert my energy to others. I accomplished my overdue task. After all, the comfort feeling that I had gradually diminished over time. I certainly missed that feeling of being with them. The excitement to be with their circle. But after all, like other people said that change is inevitable.

Suddenly discernment process started. The desire to go out become my priority. I need to go over and secure the values and principles at work. The decision was made after quite some time. I never noticed that it became too soon, but as I process it, the desire to leave was since the beginning. But I have just held on and hoped because I believed that there was a lot in store for me if I am with them. Through enough, I have learned a lot that molds me as a person and in my profession.

More than anything else, if I go back in time, I will still choose their company while serving people at the height of the pandemic. I am forever grateful to them! Some of them might have a negative outlook against me because I decide to leave them too soon, but I do believe I already served those people who are in need. After all, the reason why I choose and stay in my profession is to serve and take good care of the people who are sick, nothing more, and nothing less.

The last days were one of nightmares at first, but they were the biggest blessings after all. At that moment, I was blinded by their actions, but their actions made me whole again and molded me!

It may be a bittersweet goodbye, but it has been a great learning experience after all!

Thank you to my colleagues, and mentors.

Indeed, there is still a place where mentors become your friend!

Padayon, Grasya kayo!

 


 

 

 

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