God’s redirection

Have you questioned Him about His plans and His ways?

I, myself questioned it frequently.

I keep asking why it turned out to be the wrong way, to the way that I never wanted.

But the Lord surprised us in His most special way.

He will constantly break our hearts and a hundredfold questioning of His ways.

Let me tell you a story of what the Lord breaks my heart and redeems it.

Last Feb, we had an International Conference held in Dumaguete. This is a gathering of all Singles for Christ, a catholic lay community, around the globe. In this event, our leaders discerned us to be part of this conference as committee heads. We prepared for this event months ago before the said event. There were sleepless nights, which is more than 24 hours wide awake to accomplish some of the deliverables. There were some tears (mga tatlong luha, haha). But more than this roller coaster of events, this is just one of the beautiful stories of the Lord that will be revealed eventually in the later part.

I had a wonderful team in our committee, they were promising and the love and passion to serve the Lord is significantly present. But more than that I know, I thought that would be the first and last encounter to celebrate the beautiful mission of the Lord together. He never stops there, but still continuously moving even though we are far.

But more than this, I experienced one of the heartbreaking moments before I headed on to the main event.  Months before, I booked a plane ticket with the wrong origin of departure. In which, I needed to get another plane ticket. My heart remains excited because of the service and the other pre-event of the conference. I was hopeful that I would be able to attend the pre-event. The joy, the experience, and the encounter with the people made me delighted every time I joined the pre-event.

However, this excitement ended too soon, when we were called to serve and be a participant in an event right after the conference. It is a leader summit where every representative from the area will be joining the event. I had a lot of hesitations at first because I needed to get another ticket for the third time around. It was indeed a heavy heart for me. I haggled with the Lord, if He gave me financial resources, I would continue to get another one.

But the Lord is so gracious. He continues to provide enough resources to answer God’s calling. But despite His gracious and loving acts, I felt the incompleteness of the whole journey. I couldn’t attend the pre-event activity. I couldn’t hear the beautiful stories of the people who were attending. I couldn’t explore the goodness and beauty of the place. And I couldn’t personally encounter Jesus’ moments in every heart of the people. The joy of seeing those people who are passionate in serving the Lord is a great experience for the whole conference itself. I always look forward to this event at every conference, because I would love to be a witness of His love and how He works in every member of the community. Despite this, I still embraced the present moment of what I was able to encounter during the whole stay. I enjoyed seeing and serving His people.

After months of serving in the back-to-back sectoral and clusteral activities in our mission area, from April to May, the Lord surprised me in His most special way. While preparing for our sportsfest in Metro Manila, His divine intercession happened that night. Our full-time pastoral worker had a meeting with the PFO team of Negros Oriental, and they were discerning a session giver in one of the advocacies of Singles for Christ, which is Live Catholic. Our dear kuya used by the Holy Spirit to include me in their discernment. Out of nowhere, when I was advised I just said Yes. This is one of the big Yes for me in this mission, more than a Yes as a Mission Volunteer. That night, I just surrendered my schedule, my heart, and everything in between. It is my first time to go out of my comfort zone and serve with Him.

After days and weeks of discerning the Lord remained faithful to those bothered thoughts. My schedule was aligned, and my heart was still frightened, but overall, I was grateful. These fearful, anxious, and nervous hearts reminded me to hold on to the cross and to His promise that He is with me all day long.

On the day of my flight, I was still in awe of God’s promises.

Those three times of plane bookings last conference were paid off on my second round this time. Who would have thought that I would return to the same province after a couple of months?

I might be fearful if I was the right person to deliver His message, but the Lord did not end up having this on my mind at the end of the whole mission. I might feel uneasy about those moments, but the Lord surprised me with so many realizations. He called me not to give an inspiration, but to be inspired and to be a witness of His love to His chosen people. There were a lot of circumstances that the Lord helped me to encounter the beauty of His mission which I missed a lot during pre-event (Pre-Icon). I had a personal encounter with different missionaries in the province. I had listened to their heart and how passionate they were.

I was able to explore the beauty of the area and experience how the Lord had a redirection a couple of months ago. I might miss the Pre-event (Pre-Icon), but He wanted me to experience it more intimately. Having a deep conversation with other SFC members, witnessing how passionate and generous His love is through the servants and coordinators in the area. I was able to experience the exact moment of what the preiconers experienced by roaming around the whole city.

Sometimes, No, Wait, and Never is the way of the Lord to redirect us to embrace the present moment, to be excited about His plans, and to hold on to the promises that His ways are better than us.  Be hopeful, be faithful, and be prayerful because the Lord knows what is best and what are the hidden desires of our hearts. Remember that we are God’s beloved daughter and son, a sister and brother, and a friend, and because of that He will do Great things to His Great Friend! Because He is the greatest Lover of all.