WOMB TO TOMB
As a health care worker, we usually
witnessed a different span of life, literally from WOMB to TOMB.
I have seen this moment for years
now. It is indeed a great opportunity to witness delivery of a newborn, while
it makes me saddened to witness a gasping of breath in one’s life.
In this time of pandemic, I have
seen a lot of lives battling in this unseen virus. Sometimes you will used to
it, but sometimes you will get weird on their prognosis. Some were getting fine,
but some were getting too sick. Some get recovered and discharged, but some
were worsened and died. Many circumstances that these patients may experienced gradual
or abrupt poor prognosis in their health, which my heart break into pieces.
As part of operating room, and
airway team, we have seen a greater picture of the whole set up in the
hospital. Airway team is composed of anesthesiologist, and nurse/s. The
anesthesiologist is the one who do an intubation, while nurse/s is the one who
gather and prepare supplies and medications needed for the procedure. In some circumstances
as part of airway team, we are responsible for the whole floors of the hospital,
from ER, sometimes ICU, and 2 other floors (ward).
In the past months, we had a
maximum 2-3x of intubation per day. Moreover, for the first 2 months (April-may)
as COVID referral center, our team served as a nurse runner and sometimes pull
out to other floor (pero sobrang dalang palang nun). Then, here comes June and July,
our daily census of intubation per day is minimum of 3x and maximum of 6x per
day. Then, we were always pull out to other areas.
So, what is the implication of
this data. I emphasized our usual census in the past months and this time, you
will be noticed that the intubation is getting increased in number. On the
other hand, the issues of pull out or deploying to other areas, which made
difficult in our part (lalo na kung pull out lahat) because we will serve 2
areas. Minsan talaga mapapabugtong hininga ka na lang, but the point here is
sobrang understaff. Why? Because of the increased number of patients being
admitted and the number of nurses that is presently available. Kulang na po
talaga, so kapag kulang may domino effect yan (I hope you get it). Hindi po
kami superhero nor spiderman, with a saying of having a greater power comes a
greater responsibility. Iba ang domino effect sa health.
This is the present situation in
the hospital nowadays, health care workers do a double job while others have
their freedom doing what they want. It is a sad fact indeed!!!
But here is the thing now, I have
seen an increase of mortality rate per day, which breaks my heart. I have a
patient, who start to deteriorate at the beginning of my duty, and tends to
deteriorate even more during endorsement. Sobrang lungkot talaga. He was
intubated, and tried to communicate through his hand gestures. He wanted me to
stay with him. I hold his hand to extend my comfort to him. While, I was
holding his hand, I prayed over him in a silent mode that I can. That was the
great thing that I can offer. Masakit kasi ung ginawa mo na ang lahat, but at
the end of my shift hindi pa rin sya umokay. I have been hard to myself that
time. I even texted my trusted friend, who is a counselor, just to verbalize my
thoughts. And she replied, that I should not be too hard to myself. I have also
realized that I am not the one who can give him breath and extend his life,
there is the one above us all.
I was upset that time, and even study
his case. Because of physical, emotional and psychological tiredness, my body
started to give up and wanted to take a rest. In His amazing ways, he re-route my
emotions. While eating our dinner, I missed a call from our head, then in
return I called her back and bingo! Na-oncall ako. We had an OB patient and waits
for her delivery. It is good thing, that I had a background in delivery and
helped the team for the patient’s case. After almost 2hours, the mother
delivered his bouncing baby boy. It is nice to cheer a mother in bearing down to
be bale to deliver a baby.
That long day, there were two
sets of life that I have seen:
1. a
deteriorating patient, whom I hold his hand to cheer up in his battle,
2. a
mother, whom I cheered her up a to deliver her new baby.
They have different stories but
it helped me to continue in this battle.
Napapagod, pero hindi susuko,
ngunit magpapahinga.
No longer I, but Christ in me
My heart desires in His majesty
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