FINDING....JOY!!

Full load from many circumstances of life. 

Training, paper works, family events, unstable finances, commitments, service and etc. 

From those events in my life, 

there was one saddest moment happened.

One night, when I was going to attend on my service for the Lord, 

I noticed that I forget to bring something.. 

Hmm,, should I say that the basic thing that I should bring, is not with me. 

I have realized, I am not excited anymore.

I treated it as a responsibility and a task over a privileged

I treated it as work and not a ministry. 

I was lost that time. 

And only to find out that, I do not know where JOY is... 

Maybe because, I was preoccupied of so many things. 

My connection to the source of JOY is not intimate as it was. 

I was guilty back then. 

I was trying to revive the missing piece. 

Trying to look to some place, person. 

In one household (groupings in Singles for Christ), I verbalized my thoughts when they asked me, "kamusta ako?"

That night, I cant answer them back. I just said, JOY is not around (laughing after, but seriously I was bothered. It is like that I lost big amount of money)

I preferred some space, thinking that they were not the right person should I talked about. 

Furthermore, I do not know also where my emotion was coming from. 

And so, I cannot explain my emotions. 

In short, I was speechless. 

Because of the unexplained feeling/emotion, I revived my daily conversation with Him through writing. 

Everyday, He speaks to me. 

His message captivated my heart, and feel that I was rescued. 

He tried to comfort me through His message. 

My recovery started

I continued seeking Him little by little, and with my own strength. 

After some time, I was able to share it with other people. 

I started to process again my thoughts, and verbalized what I feel. 

Throughout the journey, one thing I have realized. 

The only thing you need to do first is PRAY

Then, ask for his GRACE, to be able to see and understand of what He wanted me to say. 

Like what I am always say in every talk if they invited me to be a speaker for CLP training 

"embrace your  carrying verse, because the Lord will speak into your verse. Because your verse will be your personal journey with the Lord". 

And indeed, it is happened to me. I am currently serving SFC community, and lead CLP in our chapter. And our verse, came from Ephesians 5:8-9, 14 as it says: "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Therefore it says: Awake, O, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light". Our CLP theme: Arise and Shine. 

As I go over, I am personally journeyed with the verse. 

For I am once experienced darkness, and excited to be a source of goodness. 

I experienced asleep, but because of His grace I found a JOY to get up and arise. 

And surely the Lord will give me light all through out.

Last Sunday, when I was searching and looking for His message. 

One song, stroked me from the song of GOD is enough: 

... Your grace is sufficient

Your embrace is all I needed

To be with You my God

Is all I ever desire

Oh God is enough for me

Nothing else will ever be

And I am satisfied

For I have found my peace... 

The song affirmed me that through HIS GRACE, I can found PEACE. 

and through HIS GRACE, I can found JOY. 

Now, the excitement runs into my blood. 

I am embracing His call, even how difficult it is. 

Excited to be a source of light. 

Excited to ARISE, so that HE will SHINE

For this, to God be the glory!!