ASK, SEEK, KNOCK

In the darkest season, these three words are the final message and reflection that He gave to me.

In the past weeks, I have been struggling with how to continue doing what I am doing – Mission work.

It has all started in the past months already, but I continue to show up, despite the negativity within. Suddenly, those moments have been carried out for a couple of months. It is so hard to let go. It is so hard to continue. Defining the purpose was hard to identify at all.

There were times when it was so hard to pray and you did not know how you will start your prayer, and what you will pray for. The joyful moment of prayer is getting lost already. Those moments happened when I was getting lost and questioning things. I also forgot to process things and listen to His message.

But He is so gracious, when He used people to remind me that I should process things. I may not understand now. I might disregard things. But He will not allow me to just move on and not to understand that “He has greater plans for me… that He will not abandon me”.

From that moment, I started to process. I started to identify that I am in the Dessert. In the desert that is filled with so many temptations, I ended up ignoring them.

But in a moment that all I wanted was just to have a reconnection, He started to whisper. While I was watching a TV series of “The Chosen”, I was in awe of how the Lord responded to His disciples despite of unworthiness, sinfulness they are. He did not want a full explanation, He just wanted to listen to their hearts. And this moment of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, helped me to realize how loving He is.

This asking season ended with a confession and reminded me of when the time that we are in the Desert, look for the Oasis, and there we will be refueled through His grace. This beautiful reminder thru the sacrament of reconciliation reminded me of His greatest love. We might have a lot of fears, worries, and doubts. But it is all about Grace that will fill in this emptiness in our hearts.

When I was in this moment, He was there! He send people to remind me that I need to process, and to affirm me about His grace!

***

In the time that we might feel empty, ask, seek, and knock! These words resonate throughout the whole journey. We cannot conquer our trials if we don’t do anything. We need to process things; we need to surrender and ask for help.

The empty tomb might be a pause, to test our faith in Him. But in the end, when we seek Him and look forward to seeing Him, He will be present. In the story of Easter Sunday, the in between when He appeared to Mary Magdalene and the disciples, they didn’t know them at first, they just voiced out what they felt. And so that is PROCESSING, that IN BETWEEN moments. Once we process, we will fully understand that He never leaves nor forsakes us, that in every step He is indeed Present.

Emptiness at times, is okay. It is our quiet time to reassess ourselves and our faith. The desert is the place where Jesus prayed even more, and the calling for us is the same as with Him. And that emptiness, laziness, and even spiritual battle, it is a reminder that even His disciples experienced the same, but because of His resurrection, they were reconnected with Jesus even more.

Every disappointment is a blessing and God’s appointment to us to renew our faith in Him!

Just ask, seek, and knock!